Greg Schwem

Biography

In good economic times and bad, corporate America consistently turns to Greg Schwem for laughs. Called "king of the hill in the world of corporate comedy" by the Chicago Tribune, Greg's presentation, "Comedy With a Byte," has entertained audiences from coast to coast. Clients such as Microsoft, Cisco, General Motors, IBM, and McDonald's have invited Greg to share his hilarious views on technology and today's business environment. Greg delivers with observations on topics such as Blackberry abuse, social network overload, never-ending conference calls, "frequently" asked questions, text messaging addiction and home office workers.

Unlike many humorous speakers, Greg researches every audience and customizes material so no two shows are alike. Combining clean, inoffensive comedy with lightning fast ad-lib skills and Powerpoint slides, Greg takes his audiences on hilarious tours through their work environments. His preparation includes company web site research, conference calls and maybe even a personal visit! As Greg recently told one newspaper reporter: "My clients hire me for approximately one hour. If I can't take the time to find out as much as possible about them, I shouldn't be in this business."

Besides corporate stand-up comedy, Greg is available as an emcee or virtual host and can also deliver a motivational speech entitled "Eight Simple Rules for Survival," which offers a hilarious look at succeeding in a down market. A former NBC television reporter, Greg has numerous national television appearances to his credit and has shared the concert stage with the likes of Celine Dion and Jay Leno. He also can be heard regularly on XM/Sirius Radio.

Publications

Text Me If You're Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad
What does a Dad do when his eight year old asks Santa for a Wii Fit and a 4G iPhone? The answer is simple: laugh! In Text Me If You're Breathing, stand-up comedian and technically challenged dad Greg Schwem accounts his mishaps and struggles with parenting in todays digital world. Whether accompanying his daughter to the New York City Apple store, purchasing a high-tech swing set, tweeting while coaching Little League or trying to lay down cell phone rules, Schwem shows readers that technology, while complicated, can be hilarious. Along the way, Schwem also aims his barbs at Tiger Woods, the Consumer Electronics Show, in vitro fertilization, the National Spelling Bee and the movie Avatar. Insightful, heartfelt and always funny, Text Me If You're Breathing is proof that parenting will never come with technical support.

Titles

Comedy With a Byte
Greg Schwem brings more than 20 years of stand-up comedy experience to the event. His performance takes a hilarious look at today's work environment and the technology tools we can't live without. Following shows, audience members often approach him and say, "thanks, we needed that" or "it's always nice to laugh at ourselves.

Greg customizes each presentation through extensive Internet research, a questionnaire, and a follow up conference call with his client. That's why audience members also say, "you really did your homework." Besides clean customized humor, audiences hear material about "corporate" topics such as Blackberry addiction, meetings versus conference calls, "frequently" asked questions and PowerPoint overload.

Greg knows what makes corporate audiences laugh. He also knows what not to say on stage. Meeting planners and event bookers feel comfortable knowing Greg will deliver the goods without offending anyone. It's why many clients ask Greg back year after year.

Eight Simple Rules for Survival
A humorous, yet motivational talk that encourages audience members to look inside themselves and see how they can perform more efficiently. Along the way Greg tackles the pros and cons of social networking sites such as Facebook, why using photos to tout your products can backfire and why Costco is superior to its main rival Sam's Club when it comes to customer service. (Hint: It has something to do with death). Eight Simple Rules for Survival is ideal for sales groups.

Meeting emcee
A good emcee needs to multitask. He must keep the event moving, be adept at improvisation and work efficiently with all other participants onstage. That could mean company executives, other speakers or a large number of honored employees. Greg Schwem has emceed everything from a one-hour awards ceremony for 200 BAE Systems engineers to a three-day conference for 6,000 McDonald's restaurant managers. He is equally at ease interviewing a company CEO live on stage or pronouncing (correctly) the names of awards recipients. No matter how lengthy or technical the program, Greg will keep audiences laughing throughout.

Video host
Ever wonder why YouTube is so popular? Video is a very powerful tool in delivering a message or just generating added humor to an event. Greg Schwem can develop and star in comedic videos for your event and make your employees and meeting attendees movie stars in the process.

Leadership seminar
A 90-minute seminar ideal for groups of 150 or less. Greg Schwem serves as moderator and uses a combination of humorous questions and inquiries that probe leadership skills that may already exist in employees. Among the questions: "Have you ever watched the Jerry Springer show start to finish?" and "Have you ever asked your child to fix something technical in your house?" The answers are hilarious yet serve as springboards for a serious discussion on leadership qualities. During the exercise, attendees learn about each other. More importantly, they learn about themselves.